fUnNy PiCkUp LiNeS...bUt NeVeR tO bE uSeD!!!


Baby, I'm no Fred Flinstone, but I can make your Bedrock!

Do you want to see something swell?

Are you from Tennessee? Cuz you're the only ten I see!

Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.

Pardon me, Miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?

Want to see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.

You make my software turn to hardware!

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

Hey baby, drop that zero and get with the hero. In other words, you better come with me.

My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime.

Is your name Pepsi? Cuz I've gotta have it!

Do you work for UPS? I could've sworn you were checking out my package.

They call me "coffee." I grind so fine.

Hey babe, can you suck start a Harley?

You must be Jamaican cuz cha makin' me crazy.

Your legs must be tired cuz you've been running through my mind all night.

Is your name Daisy? Cuz I have a sudden urge to plant you right here!

You are just truly, absolutely beautiful! Can you cook and clean also?

I know a great way to burn off the calories of the pastry you just ate.

You look just like my mother.

I'm feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?

I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?

Bond. James Bond.

Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
OR
I want to call your mom and thank her.
Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

Excuse me, but I think I just dropped something. MY JAW!!

Hello. I'm a thief and I'm here to steal your heart.

I'm sorry. Were you talking to me? (No.) Well, then please start.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

If you were a tear in my eye, I would not cry for fear of losing you.

I only have 3 months to live...

What's your sign?

What's your favorite position in extramarital sex?

You must be from Pearl Harbor cuz baby, you're DA BOMB!!

You're like a dictionary. You add meaning to my life.

(Uses index finger to call girl over) I made you come with one finger. Imagine what I could do with my whole hand.

Girl: "Excuse me, do you have the time?" Guy: "Do you have the energy?"

Do you know your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated?

Excuse me, Miss, do you give head to strangers? (No.) Well, then allow me to introduce myself.

Help the homeless. Take me home with you.

Hey baby, let's play house. You be the door and I'll slam you!!

Hi. My name is Milk. I'll do your body good.

I like your butt. Can I wear it as a hat?

If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

(Motions with finger for girl to come over) I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum.

There are 265 bones in the human body. How'd you like one more?

You're good at math, right? Is 69 a perfect square?

Can I walk through your bushes and climb your mountains?

Your daddy must be a baker cuz you got a nice set of buns!

Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get the ambulence, I'll loosen her clothes.

Want to taste my dick? (What?!) I said, "Do you want to taste my drink?"

Did you clean your pants with windex? I can practically see myself in them.

Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?

Do you know how to use a whip?

I'm a fortune teller and I could see you on my crystal balls.

Come sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up.

Hands out a phone card that says, "Smile if you want to sleep with me," and watches as girl tries to suppress a laugh.

At the office copy machine: "Reproducing, eh? Can I help?"

Do you spit or swallow?

Nice dress. It would look nicer on the floor next to my bed.

If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

That dress looks good on you, but I'd look better on you.

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Jennifer?

I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? (No.) Would you like some?

Do I know you from somewhere? I don't recognize you with your clothes on.

If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, could I meet you between the holidays?

I love every bone in your body, especially mine!

Is your father a thief? (No.) Then who stole the stars and put them in your eyes?

How do you like your eggs? Poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

I was about to go masturbate, but I needed a name to go with your face.

You are so fine that I'd eat your shit just to see where it came from.

My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in!

How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open and I'll give you the meat!

Did it hurt? You know, when you fell from heaven.

Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is lookin' outta this world!

If good looks were doggie doodie, then you'd be da shitz!

Your daddy must be a drug dealer cuz you're Dope!

Looks at tag on girl's sweater. When asked what he's doing, says, "I wanted to know if you were really made in heaven."

You must be a lumberjack because you're giving me wood!

Do you carry magnets in your pocket, because I'm attracted to you.

Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?

I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me?

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

My name is (his name). That's so you know what to scream later.

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go to my place and spread the word.

Wanna play army/war? I'll lay down and you blow the fuck outta me!

Love is a sensation; caused by a temptation; to feel penetration; a guy sticks his location; in a girl's destination; to increase population; for the next generation; do you get my explanation; or do you need a demonstration?

Are you free tonight or will it cost me?

Here's a quarter. Call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.

Hi. Are you legal?

I think I could fall madly in bed with you.

That shirt's very becoming on you. Then again, if I were on you, I'd be cumming, too.

Hey, I'm looking for treasure. Can I look around your chest?

I've been a bad, bad boy, so spank me!

Um...I need help with my Calculus. Can you integrate my natural log?

Excuse me, do you have a library? Because I would like to check you out.

You must be a parking ticket cuz you got FINE written all over you.

Your body's VISA. It's everywhere I want to be.

All those curves and me with no brakes!

(Grabs her ass) Pardon me, is this seat taken?

My friend over there wants to know if you'll give ME your number.

Do you have a license...to drive me crazy?

If your right leg was Halloween and your left leg was Christmas, can I eat the Thanksgiving dinner in the middle?

Do you have any raisins? How about a date?

Nice outfit. Can I talk you out of it?

Am I a light switch? Because you have been turning me on all day!

Hey, baby. If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?

Excuse me, I think you have something of mine. My heart!!