THe SuPeRuNiVeRSe
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My Journal

Jan 16th 2003
I miss Rodney so much. All I can think about is him. I talked to him today, he sounds so much happier than he did in county. I love him so much. He's such a sweetie. I won Avril LaVigne tickets! I want to see my rodney. I dont think anyone understands how hard this is or how much i miss him. I love him, and even though people say I'm crazy to be with him, its all I want.
 
Jan 17th 2003
It is hard to be out here all alone. I miss him so much (rodney). Oh I am happy that he called me. No one knows how good it was to hear his voice. I am supposed to meet Tova after Brents visit today. People are so strange. I think piercings are great though. I personally have my tongue pierced. I love RJ's tattoo. Its a tribal design with the chinese symbol for love above it. Oh my gosh his little brother is so adorable! He's like 10. I like his family. Rodney was so cute when he was little. He looked the same, but smaller.
 
Jan 27 2003
I miss Rodney more with each passing day. He's getting out in June. we've been talking more, he's back to his usual smartass self.
 
Feb 22 2003
Rodney is being his usual self. What else is new.?
I callen down to Lousianna to talk to my friend Chris. He got in a motor cycle accident last night, poor baby! I hope He'll be ok.

Journal Entries


April 4th, 2002
Well its the same old sh*t.Why cant I just find a nice guy? All I want is someone who loves me that I can love in return. I dont think thats too much to ask. I wish I could get ahold of R. I miss him so much. Not so much as a boyfriend, but more as a friend. He treats me so nice and complements me about something every time I see him. I mean, I wish I could be with him, because he want s the same things I do. Relationship wise, anyways. I need a long term relationship with someone that isnt so _____... I dont know, I guess controlling. Someone that dosent care if I  hang out with my friends and have guy friends. Someone that loves me but understands that sometimes I need my space sometimes. Someone that I cant live without, while still LIVING. someone that I can live with without and not want to tear apart or scream at everytime they talk. Someonr that I can actually carry on a decent conversation with without having to explain every little thing to them. Someone who is as smart as me or at least partially. Someonr that wants to have kids but wont be completely devistated if it turns out I cant. someone that can accept who and what I am and what I do. I guess I just want R because he can understand me and what I want better than anyone else. J cant. He just dosent understand me. Its been a year since I met R and I still feel the same way about him as I did when we first met (a little more actually). I dont love him. I think I am too young to fully percieve what love really is. So I guess it would be wrong for me to say that I dont love him. I think its more appropriate to say that I am not guite mature enough to love anyone fully. Wow. I want to cry so bad. Its not because I'm sad... I just have so many emotions locked inside of me that I need to let them all out. But I dont have anywhere to do it. I'm never alone.
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These are some Journal entries from a journal my dad gave me when I was around 11 years old. I thought I would include them to show how different and how much simpler my life was back then. They are taken directly as they were written in my journal for authenticity. I did not correct spelling.

March 22nd, 1997

Today I went to Oak Harbor and went to K-mart and got some curtens and baseball shoes. I moved to a new house 3 days ago. My day was so-so today I hope I have a better day tomorrow Tomorrow is Sunday And I have church. I am a christian.

March 23rd, 1997

Today was a cool day. I performed at church today and then we went across to see my grandparents and my cousens.

March 26th, 1997

Today I went to the Seattle Opera House.It was fun. I heard the orchestra. They were good.

April 19th, 1997

Today was a day of much fun. First I watched a movie, then I had a baseball game and it turned out to be a practice game because we only had eight players but we won anyway. I have a crush on this boy in my class Named Brandon Smith, he is so cute. I wish he would pay attention to me. He just ignores me when I talk to him. He pays just a little of his time to talk to me. After all that I went to a slumber party and we watched movies like anne of Green Gables and we told stories and we told jokes. That was my day.

July 12th, 1997

I cant wait for school to start again. I like summer an all but I miss seein' my friends every day. There's this one boy that was in my class that I pertictularly miss for one reason or another! Rose called today and wanted to come over. Dad said no to that. Mom went to a wedding of a freind. I dont know the friend. She brought me a little souvinoer that says the month and day and year. I'm now a true 6th grader. I look forward to middle school. My brothers are cute but pains! Thay keep looking in here. I was on the w.w.w (world wide web) and I played this one game called "lemonade stand" its a cool game! We just got new neighbors. Thay are from Georgia. We got a calaco kittin about a week ago. I am going to get really good grades this year! I will be positive and really nice to everyone and will tell only the truth.

July 13th, 1997

I still want to go to school earlier. I had alot of fun today. We drove around to Mt. Vernon and got maps and we went to a hole bunch of streams and rivers. We stopped at some reststops on the way. We found this one little spot that was real nice. We had a picnic lunch and a whopper(R) and a water for dinner. Our kitten is so sweet! She does the cutest things! She has the sweetest face and looks! Missed church.

July 14th, 1997

We went to our old house today. I went to Elizabeth Trowers house today. We made a wader pool and fixed up a sand fort by making shelfs and a sink. Watched the tevivision show 'The Monkees'. I think Danny is the best lookin' in the group.

November 11th, 1997

Today I didn't do much! all I did was go to school and junk like that. On the weekend however this is what I did: I went to Langley after school with Rose. We went window shopping and got icecream. Went to Musopicclio, its very cool but expensive!!! Then we went to the candy shop and looked at candy. At 4:30 mom picked me up. on Saterday we went across and saw "The Man Who Knew Two Little" it was funny! Sunday we went across and visited my dads mom.